


as soon as we can

by icoeurus



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 07:24:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3241262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icoeurus/pseuds/icoeurus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Ryan wanted to marry Gavin and the one time he could.</p>
            </blockquote>





	as soon as we can

i.

About a year into their relationship, Ryan feels empty.

Nothing’s directly wrong with them, Gavin loves Ryan and _god_ knows Ryan loves Gavin too. Their home situation is fine – though Ryan thinks that Gavin could clean up a bit more around the house – and being able to work with your boyfriend everyday was one of the greatest privileges that Ryan’s ever been given. But it’s when they hold hands and Ryan’s thumb traces patterns along Gavin’s knuckles does he get a pang of somberness in his gut.

He’s always hated the cold, but the ache to feel the cold metal around Gavin’s finger constantly lingered. And though Ryan was never one for flashy things, he wished to see the glint of the silver band whenever he looked at his left hand.

Especially during the days when Gavin is simply _Gavin_ , who messes with whoever’s unlucky enough to get the honor and always manages to bring Ryan into it to aid him. No matter how many times Ryan thinks, ‘ _not this time, Geoff can do one day without us leaving a bunch of post-it’s on his desk_ ’, Gavin gives him a look of pure _excitement_ and who is he to deny him the time of day?

Then Geoff comes back to his monitor covered in colourful squares of paper, half of which have dicks on them, he immediately turns to Gavin because when you live with someone for seven years, you begin to recognize how they draw phallic gestures. And because Gavin is Gavin, he’ll point to Ryan and say, “Ryan wrote some too!”

No matter who dragged who into it, they’re grinning the entire way through their argument and Geoff won’t even pay attention to them anymore, chuckling to himself as he recycles all of the notes.

“You guys are like an old married couple, my god,” it’s a passing comment and while they both smirk at Geoff, Ryan wishes that could be a reality.

ii.

On their anniversary, Ryan treats Gavin out to dinner.

The place is elegant, patrons in formal wear and they’re no different, the tie fitting snugly around Ryan’s neck. The restaurant opened months before, but without the occasion why bother going?

But now, Gavin gawks at the interior as the waiter walks up to them, looking over their list of reservations for the night. Ryan nudges Gavin, and even though the nervousness is unreasonable, he has the same precarious voice as he did when they went on their first date. “Like it?”

The waiter’s used to that by now, and once he finds their booking he leads them straight to their table without looking behind him. They follow a few steps behind, holding hands ( _don’t think about the lack of silver, don’t think about the fact that you_ can’t _have that_ ) and Gavin pecks him on the cheek with an “I love it” following soon after.

They get a fancy bottle of champagne and despite the fact that he doesn’t drink, Ryan takes a sip from Gavin’s glass. Gavin orders a fillet with some of the most bizarre ingredients included; Ryan gets a steak and even though Gavin had dismissed it at first, he ends up eating a piece of it off of Ryan’s fork before demanding that Ryan tries some of his salmon.

Conversation comes easy and Ryan’s hand rests on top of Gavin’s as they spoke. Gavin’s eyes always vividly expresses how he feels and Ryan lets him do most of the talking, just so that he could stare into his eyes and see how well green was complemented with joy. After Gavin retold a story from set and dessert’s finally finished, they always have the same argument.

“Nope,” Ryan grabs the bill as soon as it hits the tablecloth and even though it’s out of his reach, Gavin stretches over the table to try and take it from him.

“But Ryan, you always pay,” he complains and opens and closes his hand in a grabby motion. Ryan grins as he takes out his wallet, finger flipping through his cards.

“Yeah, but I’m treating you tonight,” Ryan says, taking out credit and putting it down. Gavin swipes it away before Ryan can even look up. “Gavin.”

“At least let me pay half,” Ryan shakes his head. “Ry _an_.”

The syllables are so clearly split in the mock annoyed tone that Gavin uses when he wants attention and Ryan smiles, holding his hand out. “Gav, love, come on, my treat.”

Gavin doesn’t give and he sighs, leaning over the table so that only Gavin’s able to hear his next words. “If you let me pay there might be something in it for you when we get home.” Gavin’s easily embarrassed and his cheeks flush pink at the sentence. He lets Ryan pay.

They stand up, pushing in their chairs and Ryan can’t help but to feel that this would be the perfect moment to get down on one knee. The lights illuminate their place and they fit in with their attire flawlessly. They’re still holding hands, and Ryan resists the urge to kneel, instead tugging Gavin towards the exit. Gavin doesn’t realize anything’s wrong and he grins happily up at his boyfriend and for a moment, Ryan can forget about a couple of rings.

But it only lasts so long and Ryan has to look at his left hand for the entire drive home.

Maybe next time.

iii.

Ryan mentions it exactly once to Gavin.

They’re cuddling in bed and even though it’s late, they’re still up, talking amongst themselves.

“If you,” Ryan mentally prepares himself for the question and tugs Gavin closer to him till the hairs on the back of Gavin’s head brush against his nose. “If you were a robot-“

Ryan snorts, curling himself around Gavin a bit more. His boyfriend huffs a bit, but it’s more because of his lack of attention span to the hypothetical. Gavin never complains about cuddles.

“If you were a robot, what would you do?” Ryan makes a face, even though Gavin can’t see him.

“What would I want to know?” He repeats it slowly, in an attempt to understand it mixed with a bit of fatigue. “Am I sentient?”

“Well, _obviously_ ,” Gavin says and Ryan laughs quietly, finger absentmindedly tracing shapes into Gavin’s waist.

“I mean, do I know anything beforehand? What’s my level of knowledge _before_ I go looking?” He asks and he can hear Gavin’s small sigh of exasperation. He doesn’t have that much patience to begin with – his sleepiness definitely isn’t helping.

“Uh, what do scientists have robots know?”

Ryan pauses and translates that to something he can understand before responding. “Basic commands? Depends on what the robot was made for, Gav.”

“So what if the robot was made to… make stuff?” Gavin inquires and Ryan hums.

“It’d be _really_ good at hammering stuff, I suppose.”

“Is that the only thing you know about construction, Ryan?” He can practically _hear_ Gavin’s smile.

“You saying you know more?”

“I know there are those long metal things with holes in them,” Gavin says, “and they like, use cranes with them. I think they’re red.”

“Those are metal beams, yeah,” Ryan says and Gavin grins, quietly murmuring ‘Ryan the construction guy’ under his breath, but they’re so close that Ryan hears every word of it.

They snicker for a few moments before there’s silence and Ryan says-

“I wish I could marry you.”

Gavin goes still in his arms and for a second, Ryan’s scared that Gavin doesn’t feel the same way. It’s not until he relaxes completely again, scooting back until his back is pressed against Ryan’s torso.

“I would like that,” he admits and Ryan lets out a breath he didn’t know he had held in.

“As soon as we can, I’m going to propose to you,” Ryan says and Gavin turns around until they’re face to face. Ryan can see lazy hope in his eyes and he smiles fondly at him.

“Promise me.”

“I promise, that as soon as we can get married, I, Ryan Haywood will propose to you, Gavin Free,” Gavin giggles and presses their lips together, the kiss sickening sweet.

They’re not engaged – not yet – but it’s the next best thing they can get.

iv.

It becomes a sort of phrase for them after that.

“I wish I could marry you,” Gavin says as they get into the car.

“I wish I could marry you,” Ryan murmurs away from the microphone when they’re recording (it gets picked up anyway).

“I wish I could marry you,” when they’re heading out to lunch.

“I wish I could marry you,” it comes out of Michael’s mouth as well, after they’ve all heard them say it plenty of times. It comes out a little mockingly, but Michael grins and they know he hopes they could too.

 _I wish I could marry you_. No matter how many times that it’s said, the passion behind it never wavers in strength. And though it’s never explicitly stated, they’ll wait decades for the time to come.

v.

It’s hard being in an open relationship, with how they spend most of the time in front of microphones and cameras for the internet to view.

It’s _especially_ hard when the internet’s full of assholes with the money to confront them in person.

RTX is a grand event and they don’t see each other much during the day (aside from the panels in which they hold hands under the table) but they explore the halls together as much as they can together.

But because Gavin and Ryan are _Gavin_ and _Ryan_ , they end up stationary, surrounded by fans. And they’re okay with it, even though they end up separated by rows of people and Ryan doesn’t think much of it until Gavin’s side falls silent, save for a man’s voice. Ryan can’t decipher anything over the requests for photos and autographs and he strains his head to look over at them and his heart _stops_.

Gavin looks lost, eyes widening in what Ryan has come to recognize as fear and he drops someone’s notebook halfway through his signature. It doesn’t take long for them to realize what he’s focusing on, but by then he’s already pushing his way to Gavin, stomach coiled in dread and _anger_ to whoever’s making Gavin freeze in place, breath hitched in his throat and it’s finally quiet and he can hear what the man’s saying.

“-not _real_ , hell, you guys can’t even get _married_.” It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what he was talking about and Gavin makes a shocked noise when Ryan strides past him to grab the man’s collar, jaw clenching as he glares down at him.

“How _dare_ you,” Ryan’s voice is low, every ounce of his anger being conveyed through his words. Everyone’s still around him, stuck to their place as they watched it unfold. “Try to say that our love isn’t real. Is it because we’re both guys? Cause fact is, we’re _happy_. We’re happier than you’ll _ever_ be. So take your words and fucking _shove them up your ass_ because your pitiful thinking isn’t going to change anything.”

And he shoves him away, towards a security officer who was standing against a wall nearby. Ryan spins on his heel and grabs Gavin’s hand, leading him through the crowd that parted easily for their exit.

He doesn’t look back until he’s brought them to an empty room, shutting the door behind them. Gavin’s in his arms immediately, burying his face into Ryan’s neck. Ryan wraps his arms around his waist, pressing kisses into Gavin’s temple.

“Ryan, I-“ Gavin cuts himself off with something that sounds scarily like a sob and Ryan murmurs loving words into his ear, rubbing Gavin’s back with his hand.

“Gavin, do you love me?” Ryan asks and he can feel Gavin jerkily nod _yes_ , because there isn’t any other answer that he’d give.

“Yes, _yes_ , Ryan, I love you so much,” he says, tightening his arms around Ryan’s neck.

“Then his words don’t mean anything, okay? I love you more than anything else, Gavin. And just because,” Ryan takes a millisecond of a pause, just to recompose himself. “Just because we can’t get married doesn’t mean our love isn’t real, okay?”

It’s a few more moments until Gavin nods, taking a shaky breath. “I wish I could marry you, Ryan.”

He can feel Gavin’s left arm shift and Ryan can tell that he’s looking at his hand, so he kisses Gavin’s head again.

“Me too, Gav.”

vi.

Ryan’s browsing the internet as his work exports and he stops breathing when he sees it. Jack looks over to him questioningly, but doesn’t get to ask because then Ryan’s calling lunch break, even though there’s still half an hour to noon and almost _runs_ to his car, narrowly missing several people on his way out.

Gavin’s off in some other part of the building, helping Burnie with a project that would’ve occupied his lunch anyway, so it makes it all the more easier for Ryan to drive up to a jewelry store twenty minutes away.

It was legalized the day before, and somehow the news had slipped through Ryan’s radar. But now, he strides into the shop and he already knows which ring he’s buying and what size to get because he helped Gavin measure it.

Ryan leaves the store with the velvet box in his pocket and he goes straight back to the office, skittish the entire drive back. It’s feels heavy and he can’t help but feel anxious, despite the fact that Gavin’s already said yes several times before.

Burnie’s near the entrance when he walks in and the words are out of his mouth before he can even process them. “Where’s Gavin?”

“In your office, I think. The project’s being postponed to tomorrow. Why?” But Ryan’s already walking away, stuffing his hand in his pocket to run his fingers over the box.

 And like Burnie said, Gavin’s leaning over his chair to edit a video, apparently too good for the chair. Ryan makes his way towards him in one step.

“Gavin,” said man turns around and he grins, taking Ryan’s hand when he reached out for it.

“Hey, Ry-“ Ryan gets down on one knee. The rest of the office is watching now, save for Geoff who at some point left the room.

“Gavin,” Ryan says and it feels different now, like his world depended on the word he can’t help but say it again. “Gavin.”

“It was…” Gavin has the most awestruck look on his face, mixed with disbelief and a grin that keeps threatening to take over.

“Yeah, yesterday,” Ryan confirms and takes the box out, Gavin squeaking from above him. He opens it, revealing the crafted silver and _relishes_ in the way it shone under the lights. “Gavin.”

Gavin looks between him and the ring wordlessly, his free hand covering his mouth.

“Gavin, will you marry me?”

“Yes, _god yes_ , Ryan,” and he pulls up his _fiancé_ , bringing Ryan down for a kiss. They can hear the others cheer, getting up from their chairs. Michael has his point out, documenting the moment and Ryan makes a metal note to ask him for the footage later. At some point in the middle of it all, Geoff comes back, at first mildly confused as to why everyone was standing up until Ryan slides the ring on Gavin and he grins with a ‘congratulations, guys.’

Ryan kisses Gavin again and suddenly, everything feels right.


End file.
